Friday, November 20, 2009
If I have been complaining about the busyness and stress the past two semesters, I think this semester has been the worse and I'll never land myself in such a position again! Six modules in the second half of the semester as compared to four in the first half. Nobody will be so silly as to do this like me!
But anyhow, I'm inching my way through...to the holidays :D It's quite miraculous actually. Every week when I think about the assignments and tests due the next week, I'd think it's impossible to survive. But still, I've inched my way till here! Accomplishment :)
Nowadays, my anxiety level is climbing to an all-time high though. Like yesterday when I had my formal interview examination, my heart was racing since morning till the time I was interviewed. Last night, or rather this morning, I woke up suddenly with my heart racing like mad too because I dreamt that I went into the examination hall already without studying yet.
IT WAS REALLY SCARY. I mean, I really haven't studied for that module in reality, but to dream of myself having to go for the examination like that IS really scary! :(
I know that He is in control... and I wish I can really put my whole trust in Him. If I am always this scared, I know that not ALL my trust is put in Him yet. I'll try :)
And the effects of anxiety is evident. I've been eating so much these days. Three normal meals plus so many snacks in between but still so thin! :( And I hope my periodic heart racing whenever I think of the looming examinations and how unprepared I am doesn't affect me in any way internally! (thinks heart attack... CHOY!)
It's worse when I the quiet girl in class, who tries to shun the professor's attention because I don't really know what is happening every week since I never ever catch up on my readings, gets an e-mail from my professor that says "Your response papers have shown you to be rather good at independent thought and research to find your own answers" and hence he didn't want to answer me too specifically when I asked him a question after class yesterday.
I hope my examination script doesn't disappoint him too much. I haven't studied for nuts!
OKAY BACK TO WORK.
Escaped here to rant for a while hahahah.
Im happy @ {2:40 AM}
